Fix Your Shit

Look around you at the successful people you know. They are generally not successful by accident. They've done the work. Marriage is no different. But marriage requires two individuals doing the work. One person's efforts does not a successful marriage make.




That's not to say that you don't support one another as needed. It means you are both doing the best you can at that moment and that you have committed to grow.




The struggle is real. Struggle against your programming - everything you grew up thinking was right, but know now to be toxic

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We've never done couples therapy, but we've done therapy. We realized after contemplating divorce that it was not the relationship that was wrong, it was what we were both bringing to the relationship that was messed up. We realized that we'd have the same baggage to unpack as individuals before we could have a successful relationship with anyone else. so why not try together. Inertia works in times of crisis. We stayed married, and went to individual therapists to work on being better human beings. Better human beings = better partners.